Unplanned Pregnancy– Is Abortion the answer?

The pregnancy test is positive, now what do you do about your unplanned pregnancy?

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         You got a positive                       pregnancy test,                  what happens now?

StEp OnE

Your unplanned Pregnancy-what do you do first?

Discuss it with your significant other?  Tell your parents (family)?  Most of the time, you are so shocked and feeling so out of control, you don’t know which way to turn. Of course the significant other should be told, after all, this situation will affect him too, won’t it?

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       You tell your boyfriend.                         What does he think about the situation?

Maybe, maybe not, if you are lucky, yes, he will take an active part in the decision making.

If you are lucky, he will take his responsibilities and help you since you were both in this together!

Do all guys take the responsibility?  Some do, some don’t.  Can you handle having and raising a child all on your own?  It takes a very strong person, with a good support system behind them, to do so.

Do you have what it takes?

Maybe you don’t even want him to know you are pregnant, so you choose not to tell him.

So the significant other turns his back on you, or you choose not to involve him, what is next?  

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                      He’s no help! What do I do next?

 

SteP tWo

Where do you go from here?  Investigate your options?  IN an unplanned pregnancy, you have 3 basic options, Abortion, Adoption, Keep your Baby.

A female will choose adoption, or keeping the baby if her personal beliefs say that abortion is murder, or if she truly wants the child.  But if she isn’t strong enough to face the world, and the situation of raising a child alone, she may choose to go the abortion route.  She may think that she won’t have any adverse affects after an abortion.  The situation is resolved immediately, and no one, not even the father has to know she is pregnant.

But the after effects of an abortion are far from over in her mind. She will usually live the rest of her life punishing herself for this one tiny little lapse of judgment, even if she doesn’t admit it.  The negative results of abortion are due to the unresolved grief and guilt felt by the mother of the aborted child.  If there are several abortions, the negative results grow even heavier in her mind.

Toni, A lifelong friend, a true story

I had a friend who once had many sexual encounters, which resulted in many abortions.  It was beyond me, at first, to figure out why she put herself in that situation so often. She would drink a lot of alcohol, and smoke pot, and sometimes other drugs.  On the surface, she appeared to be happy.  But if you looked below the surface, it was apparent that she was devastatingly unhappy.

I kept trying to talk with her about it, but she couldn’t, or wouldn’t explain it to me.  So I spent a lot of time watching her and trying  to protect her as much as humanly possible. Until her obsessive behavior got so out of control that I couldn’t deal with it anymore.  It was beginning to take it’s toll on my life.  For awhile I tried to keep in touch with her, and even talked to her family to keep tabs on her.

Life Goes On…

I settled down, got married, had children, and didn’t see her a lot for the next several years.  I see her somewhere like a store or something, once in a while, but not on a regular basis.  Finally one of those times she told me she was getting married. Her husband to be, worshiped her!  Needless to say, I  was thrilled for her, I thought she was finally getting away from all those risky behaviors.  I went to her wedding, and tried to develop a new “grown up” relationship with her, but she was very withdrawn from me (as some would probably expect).  With the exception of her life with her husband and close family, she became a virtual hermit.  It wasn’t until later that she finally told me the reason behind her withdrawal.

Her Past Life Revealed

Toni had been introduced (at a young age) to drugs and alcohol by an older brother.  This put her in situations she wasn’t mature enough to handle.  She was used (sexually molested-raped) by several of her brothers’ friends.  Then later she was gang raped by a high school sports team.  I won’t say which one, as it isn’t fair for me to incriminate them since I don’t know exactly who was involved.  They know who they are, and they will pay for her pain sooner or later.

She had had several abortions, and her risky behaviors kept getting worse and worse.

This all started back in the 1960’s and continued ’till present time.  Even though she was married and had settled down considerably.   She had stopped the promiscuous behavior, but was still using drugs and alcohol to self medicate.

The week between Christmas and New Years 2015, she got very sick with some sort of flue or virus.  New Years morning (Jan 1, 2016) her husband got up and left her sleeping, as he went to fix breakfast for them.  He heard her get up to go to the bathroom, but she never came into the kitchen.  When he went to the bedroom to check on her, he found her on the floor, she had apparently died just as she was starting to sit down on the bed!

Death, so sad, so sudden

  • Why did she have to live and die this way?  She was such a happy go lucky child when we were younger.
  • How come she became so unhappy?
  • What caused her to need several abortions, when I know she used birth control?
  • Where did the need to self medicate come from?
  • What caused her to continue with such risky behaviors and have such low self esteem?

WTF happened?

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The hippie generation, sex, drugs & rock n roll!

 

We were a product of the hippie generation.  The generation of free love, sex with whomever.  In other words, sex, drugs and rock n roll!  As a matter of fact, that became our senior motto, “Booze and sex are all we know, we’re the class of 7-0”!  Unplanned pregnancy never crossed our minds.

 

But  a female, no matter what she says or thinks, is programmed by our creator to be a mother.  Just as men are programmed to procreate with as many females as possible, even though they don’t understand why they are doing it.   BUT, the issue pops up and slaps them in the face when pregnancy actually happens!

 

 

They both soon realize:

  • They are not married
  • Not ready to settle down
  • Too young
  • Not in love with each other
  • Don’t know the other person well
  • Many other issues

When all of a sudden they panic. Thinking now what am I going to do? They both realize that being pregnant is going to show the world that she/he has been involved in illicit (unmarried) sex.  They are embarrassed and ashamed to admit it to the world.  At the very minimum, they don’t want their parents to know. He/she may have a girlfriend/boyfriend that he/she loves, and rather than pressure them for sex, he/she is just having sex behind their backs at the time.  The guy’s instinct is usually to decease and desist, to leave her high and dry to handle it all alone.  For some reason, it seems that a lot of the guys get off scot free.  I don’t know if it is because we let them take the easy way out, or if they just do it.  I think they feel like it is the girls problem, not theirs.

Having a baby means revealing all this to the world!  Now what do they do?  They are either going to abort, have a child and raise it, or give it up for adoption.  But again, many of them don’t want to admit it to family and the world tat they were involved in pre-marital sex, so usually the adoption issue doesn’t come into play.  In most unplanned pregnancies, Abortion seems the safest solution in the heat of the moment..

This is what happened to my friend in the story above, she spent her whole life punishing herself about the illicit sex, which was thrust upon her initially by sexual molestation and abuse.  After that her self esteem was so repressed, she felt like she didn’t deserve better treatment.  She began to self medicate with drugs and alcohol, and then the sexual antics got worse.  Her whole life was out of control.  I truly believe that if she hadn’t gotten married, she would have died much sooner than she did!

Chicki-2009

This is a true story of my co-worker (current history).  When I met her, she was young, just 22 years old.  Her background was from a religious family, and a couple of years prior she found herself pregnant.  She gave birth to an adorable little boy whom the whole family adored.  Aunts & Uncles, Brothers & Sisters, and Grand Parents all fought over who was going to take care of this child on a daily basis.  One day while she was at work, she told me she thought she was pregnant again (by the same boyfriend).  She wasn’t sure she wanted to have another child.

Is Abortion the answer?

This was an unplanned pregnancy, and she asked my opinion on her having another child or getting an abortion.  I counselled with her for days, and weeks. We discussed everything from her religious background to her feelings, if she were to abort.  We also talked about other issues like how she would be able to work and take care of a second child.  How a second child would not allow her to give the first one the love and attention it needed.  We further talked about all the issues of her family and what she would say should they ever find out about her abortion, when the truth finally came out.

Pregnancy and Medical Issues

During her first pregnancy, she had such bad vomiting and “morning sickness, or in her case all day sickness” the whole time she was pregnant, she lost weight rather than gaining it.  So much so that she had to be hospitalized at 6 months just to carry the first pregnancy even close to full term and to make sure the child was getting sufficient nutrition as it grew inside her.  She didn’t think she could continue to work and take care of her other child with this going on.  Now I watched her day in and day out, run to the bathroom every few minutes and experience violent vomiting episodes.

Of course I reminded her that all pregnancies are different, and what happened with the other one may not happen with this one, yada, yada, yada.  But we both knew that I was wrong, as all the vomiting episodes had already started.  She finally decided to wait a few weeks and see how it went.  But as God is my witness, I watched this girl throw up every few minutes for the whole 2-3 weeks she was pregnant with that second child!

Abortion Chosen

She made the decision that abortion  is the best course of action for her and her little family. Watching her undergo the abortion, I sat back and waited as she agonized over the decision she had made.  We prayed and asked God’s forgiveness in order to ease her feelings of guilt over that decision (Please don’t get me wrong, I am not one of those Bible thumping right to life do gooders  who preach to everyone, and judge them based on my own morals.  But I do have a strong code of ethics, and good moral and religious values.)

Soon after that I quit working there, and for a few months continued to talk on the telephone with her periodically (she called me, I did not call her).  Throughout all of our conversations, I could sense her wrestling with her decision, trying to justify it in her own mind.  But it was over and there was nothing she could do to change it at this point.

Life After Abortion

After that several more months went by that I didn’t hear from her.  Then one evening another co-worker called me to say that the first child was going to the grocery store with his grand parents when a drunk driver hit them and the child was killed, and there were critical injuries to the grandparents as well.  I didn’t know what to say to her, but I immediately called and left a message for her, telling her how sorry I was, and asking if there was anything I could do for her or her family.  It was a long time before she ever returned my call.

When she called me, she was distraught, she incorrectly believed that this was God’s way of punishing her for having had the abortion.  No amount of talking or counselling since then, has ever been able to change her feelings about this issue.  She has said her prayers, and has asked God’s forgiveness, but those feelings of angst and guilt have followed her for years now.  No one, not even God can give her the feelings of forgiveness, until she forgives herself.

StEp ThReE

Make a decision?  How do you do that?  I can only speak from the voice of experience, what most people (agencies included) is that you are pretty much on your own to make this decision. You are the one who will have to face the consequences in the future!

Abortion Clinics

If you call a place like an abortion clinic, they are going to give you all the reasons why abortion is the best option.  But if you have the wherewithal, to do some checking on the internet, go to some sites and look at live videos of abortions.  The clinics make their money based on how many abortions they perform.  It is their jobs to talk as many people as possible into having abortions.

The real question is, can you face killing your child?

This is a decision that has to be made swiftly, and you have to be committed to live with the results for the rest of your life. This isn’t something that you can undo, you can’t wipe out the feelings about this child.  Even if you have another child, it won’t wipe out the feelings about this one.  If anything, having another child amplifies the guilt you feel about killing this one!

Did you know?

The first recorded evidence of induced abortion is from the Egyptian Ebers Papyrus in 1550 BC? https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/History_of_abortion

Whose idea was it to start aborting babies in the first place?

Believe it or not, from the information I can find, it appears to be a couple’s idea.   The peasant class were hit the hardest by famines and high taxation in that age.    The more children they had, the more difficult it was to support their families. Since there were few reliable methods of birth control, abortion probably seemed their best option.

Modern Day Abortions

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Tiny body parts after being ripped from their safe place in mommy’s tummy!
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24 week fetus-also termed late stage abortion

If you or someone you know is thinking about abortion, I would suggest that you view the videos of live abortions on the following two websites.  For anyone who has any compassion for their own body and for that of their unborn child, it will be difficult to go through with an abortion even in an unplanned pregnancy, after viewing the videos and pictures.

 

 *********WARNING–THE PICTURES & VIDEOS MAY BE TOO GRAPHIC FOR YOUNG OR SENSITIVE VIEWERS*********

I found pictures from actual live abortions on the following websites:

http://granthamcollection.com/

http://clinicquotes.com/live-video-of-an-abortion-procedure/

http://www.prolifesociety.net

 *********WARNING–THE PICTURES & VIDEOS MAY BE TOO GRAPHIC FOR YOUNG OR SENSITIVE VIEWERS*********

Ancient Tools Used to perform abortions

Ever wondered what tools were used to perform abortions back in the ancient times?  I have, so I started researching, I found  The Grantham Collection.  Here you can see the tools from ancient to modern which are/were used to perform abortions.

Check it out here:  http://granthamcollection.com/new_index.html#instruments

Stoicism and Religious Views of Abortion

Stoicism is a school of Hellenistic philosophy founded in Athens, Greece in the early 3rd century BC. The Stoics thought that emotions during decision making times, created errors in  judgment which were destructive to the human way of life . Ancient Greeks believed a fetus is plant like in nature, and not an animal until the moment of birth.  It doesn’t become a human until it finally breathes air.  So abortion was deemed morally acceptable.

Aristotle

Then along came Aristotle who wrote that, the line between lawful and unlawful abortion is marked by the fetus feeling sensation and being alive.  Prior to that point,  Aristotle did not regard abortion as the killing of something human.  He considered the embryo to gain a human soul at 40 days after conception if it is a male, and 90 days after conception if it is female.   Before that, in his eyes it had a vegetable or animal soul.

Hippocrates

The Oath, which each doctor takes (even in this day and age) as she/he is sworn in as a medical practitioner is ascribed to Hippocrates.  One of the points in this oath forbids the use of pessaries for abortion purposes (Pessary- A small soluble block that is inserted into the vagina to treat infection or as a contraceptive to induce abortion).  This specific prohibition has since been construed by some medical scholars as prohibiting abortion in a broader sense than just by pessary.

Ancient Roman beliefs on Abortion

Although abortion was generally accepted in ancient Rome, those attitudes changed with the spread of Christianity.   Around 211 AD the emperors banned abortion indicating that it infringed on parental rights. So punishment for abortion in the Roman Republic was viewed as a violation of the father’s right to dispose of his offspring.

Since the Romans did not view the fetus as a person, they did not punish abortion as homicide, but if abortion was discovered, the person/couple was exiled.  It is believed that this was largely due to the influence of Stoicism.

 Abortion in Modern Times

Unplanned pregnancies have been occurring since the beginning of time.  I could go on and on about the history of abortion.  Each future generation, has had it’s own beliefs about abortion.  One group says it is murder. The other one says it is the mother’s right to choose whether she wants to have a child or not.

It might seem like just hiding the fact that she was pregnant is the only issue to making a decision.  There are so many more issues for a pregnant female to think about before making the choice to have an abortion.

No support after abortion

Society offers no real support for her grief.  Unlike other deaths, there is no funeral service to allow for closure, and then no grave site  to visit.  She receives no consolation from friends and relatives who most often are unaware of her abortion, or they may have urged her to submit to the abortion and paid for it in order for her to be done with it all.  If this is the case, they don’t understand why she can’t just “let it go”  she should be happy that it is over and she doesn’t have to face the world with such an issue.

The treatment of a woman who has suffered the tragedy of abortion can only begin when she seeks help.  Symptoms which cause her to seek medical care will be something like:

  • Insomnia
  • Depression
  • Suicidal thoughts
  • Post-traumatic stress disorder
  • Substance abuse
  • Infertility
  • Eating disorders
  • Psychosomatic illnesses
  • Failed relationships

All symptoms must be investigated and treated appropriately with counseling, medication, and/or referral to specialists.

But unless the underlying cause is understood and addressed (her grief over her aborted child) the symptoms will reoccur or be replaced by others which are more severe. In the course of obtaining a medical history, it is important for the counselor to ask about pregnancy loss and to ascertain whether the onset of symptoms can be seen to be related in time, to the death of a child.  Or related to a death prior to birth as is the case in abortion.

A woman’s Feelings after Abortion

Even when a woman decides that abortion is best for her, she will be judged by the society she lives in if they know about her decision to abort.

She will also constantly be judging herself and questioning her reasons for having an abortion and “killing her baby.”  

She may go on to get married or get married again and start a new family.  Thinking all is well with her, and then guilt rears it’s ugly  head and interferes in the new family or the “fantasy family” she has concocted.

Abortion is touted as a gift given to us to relieve us of the burden of having an unwanted pregnancy.  It is thought that once the abortion takes place the person will be “cleansed” from the pregnancy, and life will go on as it always did.  She will be done with the baby and start over fresh with no on being the wiser about her pregnancy.

There will constantly be guilt in her mind whenever she thinks about the baby she could have had, and wonders about it. She will wonder whether it was a boy or a girl, and what it looks and acts like.   Could it be just like me?  Would it be like it’s father?  She will constantly question herself about that decision and feel the guilt about killing her own child.  These are feeling that will haunt her all the days of her life!

Psychosomatic Effects of Abortion on the female

She will suffer from so many psychosomatic effects as a result of abortion like:

  • The first thing she will do upon learning she is pregnant in a crisis situation, is to (mentally) calculate the date when her child will be born.
  • She suddenly becomes aware of the feelings she has for her child.  Now she realizes that if she takes no action to terminate the pregnancy, she will hold her child in her arms by that date
  • At the same time, feeling over-burdened by dread, anxiety, external pressures, a sense of unworthiness to be a mother, and fear of loss of the relationship with the child’s father.
  • The female is scared to death thinking about facing her partner, her parents,and society in general
  • She is having ambivalent feelings which make the decision much more difficult.
  • A woman is required to have the abortion during the first three months of the pregnancy.  This partly to maintain her secret, and partly because late term abortions may not be available at the local abortion clinic.
  • Late term abortions have a higher risk of complications, and other such mumbo jumbo.  These things are used to hide the fact that a baby is being relieved of it’s life!

Post Abortion Grief

After the abortion she will generally be numb.  The grief she feels over the death of her child is currently over-shadowed by the onslaught of more and more strong ambivalent feelings.  Like the love she feels for her child.  Then comes the denial of these feelings which is what enabled her to have the abortion in the first place. This is an emotional state she may continue in for days, weeks, months, years, and maybe forever.

Society doesn’t give her the support she needs, most people feel that she should be relieved because her problem has been taken care of.  But generally her inner turmoil is often plagued by guilt, heartache, and shame.   She may even have nightmares about aborted babies. Eventually she may seek medical treatment for insomnia and anxiety or self medicate with alcohol and illicit drugs to ease the pain.

As time goes on she may experience even more intrusive thoughts, day and night, with flashbacks to the abortion experience.  These may be triggered by such ordinary experiences as a gynecological exam or the sound of the suction in a dentist’s office. She can become seriously depressed and even suicidal.

Initially the affect is blunted, she feels numb. Later she may develop psychosomatic symptoms, an aversion to sexual intimacy, or, conversely, become promiscuous as a result of her terribly low self esteem.  When she is in this state she may enter a cycle of multiple pregnancies and repeated abortions.

Miscarriage is discussed, but not abortion

Although most women will be truthful about a history of miscarriage; shame and guilt may make it almost impossible for her to admit to an abortion, or multiple abortions, at her first visit. It is important to create a supportive, non-judgmental relationship to allow her to reveal her deep, dark secret.

The therapist

The female is urged to find a therapist who specializes in post abortion grief, so that he or she will know how to handle the pain and heartbreak the patient is feeling.  Post abortion grief requires someone more specialized than those who treat general grief as the result of death or loss of a relationship.

Because of abusive,or traumatic relationships with men in her life, telling her shameful story to a male physician may be especially difficult.  Even being alone with a man in an exam room may precipitate paralyzing anxiety.  She may feel more comfortable in the presence of a woman physician or a nurse. In fact, nursing literature reports accounts of women who have flashbacks to their abortion or rape experiences during labor and delivery.   When symtoms are  recognized and supportive care is offered, her journey to healing can begin.

Treatment of the psychological consequences of abortion requires that the therapist allow her to share her painful memories of the horrific procedure.  Then to discuss the circumstances which surrounded it.  She should also be allowed to vocalize her deep emotions of guilt shame and anger at herself and others who insisted on the abortion or who did not offer any alternatives to it.

Post Traumatic Stress Disorder

Care must be taken so that reliving the abortion experience does not cause a flood of post-traumatic stress which will cause further trauma to her.  If she is helped to establish a supportive network around herself, sharing her sorrow with carefully selected professionals, friends and family members, she can begin the recovery process. Diocesan programs such as Project Rachel,  Counseling or psychotherapy, all can assist her in recovery.  Many of them are accompanied by medication to treat anxiety, depression, or psycho-somatic symptoms.  Read about Project Rachel here:  http://hopeafterabortion.com/

 

Questions to you about abortion

  • What are your personal beliefs on abortion? 
  • Would you even consider an abortion for any reason?  
  • Is it fair to abort the embryo in cases where there is danger to the mother’s life?
  • Do you consider abortion ok in cases where there is likely to be mental retardation in the case of the embryo?
  • Can or should the parents/mother consider abortion to be warranted if the child would be physically or mentally handicapped?

Is there an answer to the abortion debate?

Modern day humans are just as much in the dark as earlier humans in history.  I don’t think there is ever going to be one true answer that fits all human beings.

I don’t know that all people will ever be able to come to one conclusion, but if you have any idea in your mind that you want to have an abortion, you really need to view the videos provided on The Grantham Collection Website, or one of the other sites who also have videos of abortions.

If I was making that choice, after viewing the videos, abortion would not even been an option. I cannot comprehend, how anyone could knowingly go through an abortion after seeing these tiny little human bodies being torn apart as they are ripped from their mother’s body and their skulls pierced to kill them if the procedure doesn’t do the job!

Male’s situation

Does the father feel any guilt?  Yes and No.  The answer isn’t quite so simple. It involves things like:

  • Is he even aware that his partner is pregnant?
  • Would he raise and support the child?
  • Will the partner even consider marrying, or co-parenting with the mother?
  •  Is there a possibility that (if the mother carried the child to term) he would want to keep the baby, even if the mother doesn’t?
  • Should the father have any rights in this situation?
  • Does/should he have any rights?
  • Will he even care what happens to the child?
  • What are the moral and religious beliefs of his family?
  • Does he have a supportive family?
  • Is the family totally against the idea of the world knowing he was/is involved in illicit sex?
  • Do they believe in abortion?
  • Or adoption?

Decision Making Regarding Abortion

Such strong beliefs, feelings, and emotions are all part of the decision making process. But unfortunately not all pregnant persons realize what effects those decisions will have on their future.  The decision has to be made quickly, so they really don’t get a chance to think about what they are doing.  They think that once the abortion happens, all will be right with the world, and no one will be the wiser about her pregnancy.  But, she will know!

In every abortion a child dies, albeit in an early stage of development and prior to birth.  The abortion is instigated by the pregnant woman and technically at least, with her approval.  It is no wonder that she will feel extreme guilt and grief as a result of an abortion.  These feelings will come out, sooner or later.  It doesn’t matter if she willingly chose abortion, or she was forced into it, it is just human nature.   Being a female brings out inherent traits that we don’t even know we have.  All of us are “Mama Bears”  when it comes to our children, it is an instinctive protection mechanism that was designed to protect the human species.

Authors Conclusion

It is easy for someone to say hypothetically that they agree on the abortion issue, that it is the mother’s right to choose what to do about an unplanned pregnancy. But when actually faced with the decision, it is a much harder one than anyone ever expected.

Then once done, and she has to live with it, she may (will usually) have mental and physical ramifications that last for years and years, or even forever.

I don’t know what your feelings are about abortion, but I would really love to hear from you.  My thoughts are, it’s not for me, but you may feel it is right for you.  Some people say that it isn’t a person until it is born and starts breathing.  While others feel it is a person as soon as conception occurs.  I know from looking at pictures and videos, that the fetus looks like a child very early in the pregnancy. I saw videos where the aborted fetus raised it’s hands in a defensive manner, and it actually got cut across the palm of the hand by the scalpel.

Tell me something

I know that our government says abortions are legal for unplanned pregnancy.

But if a woman is pregnant and gets killed, and the baby also dies, the killer is prosecuted for a double homicide.

How can the government allow abortions and not prosecute the doctors and the mother as murderers?

I don’t understand the difference, if the murderer is prosecuted as a double homicide, why aren’t the doctor and the the mother prosecuted for a homicide in the case of an abortion?

Why do you think people still have abortions?

I would love to hear your answers, your stories, or even the stories of others whom you know.  Send me your comments via the comment form below, or if you would rather them be totally anonymous, you can send them to me by email at mimi@gritsbymimi.com

Future Relationship Issues

  • Typically after facing an unplanned pregnancy, the relationship with the father of the child ends.
  • Or even other relationships occurring after the original one come to end.
  • The relationships end abruptly because her partner cannot accept her in her distraught state.
  • Sometimes the relationship ends because the men see themselves as accomplices in bringing about the death of the child.
  •  Such things as having sex with her scares him because he is afraid she is going to get pregnant again, and may try to trap him this time.
  • Regularly occurring events such as Mother’s Day, the anniversary of the abortion, the date the child would have been born all will cause recurrent issues of depression in her mind.
  • Subsequent birthdays, or seeing a child of the age her child would have been may create these issues.
  • Holidays with an empty place at the table (at least in her mind)
  • Even the birth of another child (to her or to someone else she knows), or another death in the family, may trigger an overwhelming torrent of grief, guilt and remorse.

If Abortion creates such negativity-Why does anyone ever have an abortion?

  • When faced with an unplanned pregnancy, many women feel that they want to have an abortion, because they are are not physically, mentally, or financially able to raise a/another child.
  • They think if they have an abortion that no one will know they were pregnant, and therefore all will be well with the world.
  • Maybe that way she won’t have to tell her parents, or the father, and face their wrath.
  • Sometimes a female truly wants the child she is carrying.   Maybe she couldn’t bear the thought of giving birth to her child, and having to give it to someone else to raise (as in adoption).   Abortion appears to be the better option
  • It could be because she craves the love that so many people (parents or men) are seemingly withholding from her so she gets pregnant, then panics.
  • Maybe she loves the father and she thinks if she has the child he will stay with her.  Then she  finds out  he won’t and she panics at the thought of raising a child alone.
  • She could be in love with father but he has since moved on and she can’t face sharing her child with him and another woman.
  • She thinks he will marry her, and they will live happily ever after.  But she realizes after the fact that pregnancy was a stupid idea, to try to hold on to that man.
  • When she tells the father she is pregnant, he abandons her and the child.

What ever her reasons, she decides it is better to terminate the pregnancy and then it will all be over.  She won’t have to worry anymore about it.  But that is where she is dead wrong!   Unplanned pregnancy is difficult.  I said this up above, but I feel it warrants saying again, abortion is irreversible, if you have even the smallest doubt that you can’t live with it, please, please, consider another option!

Abortion-your Thoughts

  • Have you had an abortion?
  • Would/will you ever have an abortion?  Why/Why Not?
  • Did you personally ever have an unplanned/unwanted pregnancy?  
  • Was it the result of rape or incest?
  • Have you ever placed a child for adoption?  
  • What sort of emotions did/are you going through after placing your child for adoption?
  • What are your feelings, before, during, and/or after having an abortion? 
  • Could/would you like support to help you sort out your feelings?

Sassy “Mimi”  Sandy Sue says…

See you later!

 Please send comments to mimi@gritsbymimi.com or leave them here on this site.

Have you had an unplanned pregnancy?  What did you do?  If you would like to discuss issues related to your own pregnancy, adoption, or abortion, email me, and please be sure to mention it. I will get back to you as soon as I can.   Be sure to send that information by email so I don’t miss it!